Shabbat Chayyei Sarah
Every time we read the book of Genesis, I’m relieved.
It turns out everyone, even those we hold up as paragons of generosity and courage are human, just like us — and like us, are far from perfect.
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At the beginning of our Torah portion, the image we have of Abraham is a sad one: Having banished Hagar and Ishmael, he returns home without Isaac, only to receive the news that his wife Sarah has died. In a few pages, the tribal patriarch, the leader of his clan, loses all those closest and most dear to him.
As he mourns everyone he has lost, we wonder, is it too late for Abraham? is this what he has to look forward to? A life of isolation, cut off from his own family and the promise of the future?
And as we ask this question, we ask it of ourselves as well. Is it too late for us, we who have at times sacrificed on the altars we have erected – the altars of our careers, interests, hobbies – the ones whom we love so dearly?
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At first, it appears it is too late for Abraham: he sits in his home, now empty. He never sees he wives or children again.
But when he goes to Kiryat Arba to mourn his wife — for first time in his life he sheds tears for someone he cares about.
The Torah reads: “He came to mourn for Sarah and cry for her” (23:2).
This sentence seems redundant: Wouldn’t we assume mourning means crying?! The writer is going out of the way to tell us: Abraham doesn’t just go through the motions of mourning, but grieves deeply.
The tears he sheds are not just for Sarah: they are for everyone he failed, everyone he lost, over the course of his long life.
Aware now of how he has let his family down, Abraham goes to great lengths, towards the end of his life, to care for his son Isaac: Abraham sends his servant, Eliezer, on a hard journey and spares no expense to make sure Isaac is matched with the right partner for him.
Finally, after Abraham dies, Abraham and Sarah come together in death as they never had in life – buried next to each other in the Cave of Machpelah.
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Even though Abraham is not able to completely rectify the harm his actions have wreaked on his family, God completes Abraham’s family’s healing.
The Torah says: “after the death of Abraham, God blessed his son, Isaac.”
By giving him a blessing, God completes the work that Abraham began. God gives Isaac the blessing that Abraham withheld.
So, in our own families, we remember that the work of healing our relationships can be the work of a lifetime.
We heed the Mishna’s call to us: “It is not your duty to finish the work, but neither are you at liberty to neglect it.”
Abraham’s life, far from perfect, teaches us that no matter how difficult our relationships with our family are — and however long we might have been estranged from those we love, if we begin the work of healing our relationships, then the Divine Presence the ultimate Source of Healing, will partner with us to complete the work.
May it be so.