Finding Blessing in Uncertainty (Shabbat Vayishlach)

In a recent conversation with a staff person I hadn’t seen in months, she said she had moved to work with people who needed more help with the tasks of daily living. She told me their need, though often expressed with anger or impatience, brought out in her complementary qualities of patience and love.

As a mere mortal, someone who gets impatient, who can’t always rise to a challenge, I was truly humbled -- I aspire to live the way she does! So today, as I reflect with you on the story of our ancestors, I relate a bit more to Jacob, who is not always his best self.

As he sets out on his journey to meet his brother Esau, he makes a kind of plea with God for protection: “Im yihyei imadi,” he says to God,

If You protect me and bring me home safely, I will set up a shrine to You and set aside a portion of all that You give me. (Gen 28:20-22).

Sforno, a 15th century Italian rabbi and commentator, says Jacob’s inability to graciously give attention and love to God without conditions comes from his fear of natural disasters and poverty. In other words, when confronted with life’s intrinsic uncertainties Jacob is not so generous.

We all recognize ourselves in Jacob. Over the past almost 9 months, of pandemic and political turmoil, we’ve been starkly aware of all that is out of our control. We’ve had good reason to want to close down, every excuse not to be our best selves.

Later, as Jacob arrives at the place to which he prayed he’d arrive safely, before being reunited with brother, he prays a new prayer. He begins:

“O God of my father Abraham and God of my father Isaac…I am unworthy of all the kindness that You have so steadfastly shown Your servant.” (Gen 32:10-11).

While he first prayed to be exempted from life’s uncertainty, he now acknowledges the ways he’s already been blessed. His life hasn’t gotten any easier or more certain – in fact, he may be in more danger than ever before!

This time, though, rather than responding to uncertainty with anxiety, just focusing on his needs and desires, Jacob lets life’s uncertainty open him up to see with fresh eyes some of the things he took for granted until this moment.

The staff person I mentioned earlier told me, at the end of each arduous day, she felt she’d done something worthy because she was reminded of her own capacities to love and to give, even in challenging circumstances.

So, as we learn to live with trust in the face of the uncertainties ahead, may we, too, learn to open up to the what’s gone right in our lives.

With newfound awareness of our blessings, perhaps we’ll even find ourselves able, to be a bit more loving and generous with ourselves and others, so we can give ourselves the gift of knowing we’ve made our days count.

Amen