Telling Your Most Life-Giving Story (Shabbat Vayigash)
A year ago, someone gave me a Chanukah face-mask. I didn’t get it until after the holiday ended; I thought I would never use it! Well, one year later, here we are: everything feels different – we have a vaccine, and can finally put on the performance of Guys and Dolls some of you have been preparing over the last two years! But everything…also feels the same, the joys of pre-pandemic life still far away. Though we’re in a different place, it’s easy to only focus on what’s wrong.
This week, we read about someone who could have easily done the same. After all, Joseph’s brothers betrayed him, sold him into slavery; and his father, who had always been his support and advocate, fell for the lie Joseph’s brothers tell, and never looked for his beloved son. Though Joseph’s fortunes eventually change for the better, we would all understand if he only focused on these traumatic events for the rest of his life.
Spiritual director and author Dianne Millis, in her book Re-Creating a Life says: “Any story we tell [about ourselves] is ultimately incomplete.” It is always distorted by our previous experiences. Because of this, Millis argues, we should “aim to hold whatever story we are currently telling lightly…as we investigate what further truths our story wants to tell us.” I’m not saying this is easy – at times we all feel overwhelmed by the challenges we are facing. But when we can take a step back and tell our fullest story – though it’ll include moments of challenge, they will only be a part, not the entirety of our story.
When Joseph meets his brothers, he tells a full story:
Do not be distressed or reproach yourselves because you sold me [into slavery]; it was to save life that God sent me ahead of you (45:5).
Joseph acknowledges what his brothers did, but what happened to him is only part of his story. He also talks about what he did to make the best of his circumstances, leading to his eventual rise to a position of power. This story allows him to forgive his brothers, and embrace the life he has.
As we grow older, we try to make sense of the gap between what we thought our lives were going to be and what they actually are. The solution is, like Joseph, to tell the fullest possible story of our lives. We do this by recognizing the story we are telling ourselves, and then “zoom out” to notice if there are any moments this story hasn’t been true. This Shabbat, you might ask yourself, what is the fullest story I can tell about my life — one that takes into account the good and the bad, the growth and the challenge, the obstacles and the ways I’ve transformed these into unexpected opportunities?
May you, like Joseph, discover a story that is life-giving, and in which you sense the Holy One always at your side: a supportive, loving companion, guiding you toward the joy and possibility we cannot yet know — but that nonetheless awaits us in the days ahead.