Sharing Lightens the Load (Shabbat Yitro)
My God, we’re exhausted.
The sense of purpose we had in 2020, as, together, we confronted a dangerous new virus has diminished. We’re grateful booster shots and masks are now keeping us relatively safe from the worst impact of COVID. But with breakthrough cases, and now a new variant, we’re experiencing decision fatigue, from constantly deciding whether or not it’s safe to engage in once-ordinary activities, like having lunch in the Pequit, or getting together with family or friends.
We find Moses and the Israelites in a similar position this week. They narrowly escape Egypt, and now must now traverse a seemingly endless wilderness. People quarrel with each other, and Moses tries to mediate their disputes. They struggle to find food and water, and Moses responds by trying to ensure everyone has what they want to eat. In disbelief, Yitro, Moses’ father-in-law hears what Moses has been doing, and famously scolds him:
לֹא־טוֹב֙ הַדָּבָ֔ר אֲשֶׁ֥ר אַתָּ֖ה עֹשֶֽׂה׃ / The thing you are doing is not good; נָבֹ֣ל תִּבֹּ֔ל גַּם־אַתָּ֕ה גַּם־הָעָ֥ם הַזֶּ֖ה אֲשֶׁ֣ר עִמָּ֑ךְ כִּֽי־כָבֵ֤ד מִמְּךָ֙ הַדָּבָ֔ר לֹא־תוּכַ֥ל עֲשֹׂ֖הוּ לְבַדֶּֽךָ׃ / you will surely wear yourself out, and these people as well. For this thing is beyond your strength; you will not be able to do it alone. (Ex 18:17-18).
Focused on making it through each day, Moses completely loses perspective; forgets what an impossible situation he’s in. In a comment on the end of our verse, a midrash imagines God illustrating Yitro’s point:
“Look at that beam”, God says to Moses. “When it is wet, two or three get under it but cannot lift it; four or five get under it and can lift it.”(Mekhilta d'Rabbi Yishmael 18:18:1).
When we are overwhelmed, our instinct is often to try to figure it all out ourselves. After all, we don’t want to trouble anyone! And while we surely need to be somewhat self-directed — decide when to get out of bed, or brush our teeth — we’re now entering our 3rd year of pandemic, in the midst of ongoing political uncertainty, and a week after yet another anti-Semitic attack.
My God, we are exhausted.
We are all carrying burdens too heavy for even two or three people to bear together. Torah reminds us this is lo tov: not good. It’s not good for us, and what’s more, our impulse to “go it alone” is bad for our friends and loved ones. I’m sure we can each remember a time someone asked for our help — and the gratification we got from being able to step away from our own troubles for a moment and do something for someone else. Asking others for help gives them a gift.
At this point, we must humbly admit — if Moses can’t do it alone, surely none of us can either! We all need one another to lighten our load these days. I am here to lighten your load, and will hold what you share in confidence. But if a 1-1 conversation isn’t what you need, please consider dropping in on any of the programs I offer, through which I aim to make space for you to find support and companionship whether engaging in prayer, poetry, or Torah study. Please reach out: to me, to friends, to one another. After all, the only way we make it out of this wilderness is together.